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Thursday, February 12, 2015

50 things to be a real man

Hilarious, from  the Telegraph...love that newspaper

However, I am going to write up a new list, for the new world

I look forward to any comments on what should be on the new list

PS The list will also be called

Top 50 skills, knowledge, and tools to be a real man or woman.

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http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/11408971/Are-you-a-real-man-The-top-50-things-every-chap-should-know.html

Top 50 things you should know to be a real man

1. His wedding anniversary date
2. Basic DIY
3. How to change a light bulb
4. How to tie up a tie
5. How to read a map
6. His partner's favourite drink
7. How to iron a shirt
8. How to change a tyre
9. How to wet shave correctly
10. The right amount of aftershave to use
11. How to change a fuse
12. When a woman says "I'm fine" she is not fine
13. How to put up a shelf
14. How to polish his shoes
15. How to give a confident handshake
16. How many inches are in a foot
17. When to accept defeat and apologise
18. Know the offside rule
19. The year England won the World Cup
20. How to do his own laundry
21. How to fix a bike puncture
22. How to jumpstart a car
23. How to parallel park
24. The difference between ale and lager
25. The best way to carve meat
26. His own height
27. How to drive in snow
28. What wires represent earth, live and neutral
29. How to introduce himself
30. His parents' address
31. What the football scores were at the weekend
32. How to light a BBQ
33. When a woman says "Do what you want" do not do what you want
34. How to change oil
35. What the biggest recent football transfers are
36. How to build a fire
37. Which way is North
38. How to use the contents of the toolbox
39. How to tune in a telly
40. How many miles are left after the petrol light appears
41. How to fix a toilet
42. How to put someone in a recovery position
43. His personal alcohol limits
44. Change a battery on a car
45. How to get a car unstuck
46. The words to the national anthem
47. How to change a nappy
48. How to perform CPR
49. How to put up a tent
50. Who are favourites to win the Premier League

9 comments:

  1. Own a geiger counter and know how to use it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ya, that is on my list already, lol

      Delete
    2. Bo knows Theremino?
      http://optimalprediction.com/wp/radiation-eating-fungi-they-kill-trees-and-they-kill-people/comment-page-4/#comment-61670

      2) use a potatoe to remove broken light bulb ensuring power is off 1st!
      18) if you have enought time for conversation with netminder, you might be offside! (does Right/Left-Hand rules count? current/field/mag.)
      22) test w. digital voltmeter first.
      23) How to parallel park a 60's Pontiac (complete w. anchor in boot)?
      23b) how to backup a trailer
      23c) how to backup two trailers in "C-train" formation
      28) What wires represent earth, neutral & live, so one can think of Earth, Wind & Fire (lol) 60Hz. 60 Hurts, but 240 is a killer! :P

      29) Greetings and salutations most excellent people!

      31) Does "How NOT to light a BBQ" or "How to get a haircut in a single second? :lol:
      36) How to build fire in rain. Keep candles for paraffin!
      37) "Which way is North" while cloudy after dark. Follow the moss.
      38) change filter twice as often as oil & use Hard Drive magnet @ end for miniscule Iron-alloy shavings
      43) "His personal alcohol limits" It is fuel, imho. Special occasion only.
      44) add acid to water, not water to acid (via Turkey Baster). Charge @ room temperature after cleaning casing with baking soda solution & charge on concrete floor if desired. Nitrile gloves, polyethylene apron & safety glasses required. Oh; "CHANGE" battery, not charge battery. How about "add battery"?
      48) CPR to the tune of BeeGees "Stayin' alive". Mouth-to-mouth only allowed on pretty ladies. What? Mouth-to-mouth is obsolete? D'oh!!
      49) Does a yurt count?

      52) How to turn on a computer. (rub it gently & wisper "oh baby, oh baby" over and over again) ;)
      53) How to turn off a computer. ref#12 (Say "I'm fine too!") :o
      54) How to be genuinely polite, courteous & tactful.
      55) How to talk about religeon without offending anyone.
      56) How to drive a vehicle with a Standard Transmission.
      57) How to talk about something that interests his lady ... Ask her!
      58) How to take no for an answer.
      59) How to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, and when to run.
      60) How to handle loneliness on Valentines day for knowing too much of these lists!

      Delete
    3. Title: "Vinnie Jones' hard and fast Hands-only CPR (funny short film) (full-length version)" from The British Heart Foundation
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILxjxfB4zNk

      Delete
    4. Did "Goggle" kill my comment?
      http://nukeprofessional.blogspot.ca/2015/02/50-things-to-be-real-man.html?showComment=1423919446316#c1627609941494550794

      Thanks Goggle, for disappearing another one. Am on to that trick though.
      A repost:


      http://nukeprofessional.blogspot.ca/2015/02/50-things-to-be-real-man.html?showComment=1423919446316#c1627609941494550794

      Bo knows Theremino?
      http://optimalprediction.com/wp/radiation-eating-fungi-they-kill-trees-and-they-kill-people/comment-page-4/#comment-61670

      2) use a potatoe to remove broken light bulb ensuring power is off 1st!
      18) if you have enought time for conversation with netminder, you might be offside! (does Right/Left-Hand rules count? current/field/mag.)
      22) test w. digital voltmeter first.
      23) How to parallel park a 60's Pontiac (complete w. anchor in boot)?
      23b) how to backup a trailer
      23c) how to backup two trailers in "C-train" formation
      28) What wires represent earth, neutral & live, so one can think of Earth, Wind & Fire (lol) 60Hz. 60 Hurts, but 240 is a killer! :P

      29) Greetings and salutations most excellent people!

      31) Does "How NOT to light a BBQ" or "How to get a haircut in a single second? :lol:
      36) How to build fire in rain. Keep candles for paraffin!
      37) "Which way is North" while cloudy after dark. Follow the moss.
      38) change filter twice as often as oil & use Hard Drive magnet @ end for miniscule Iron-alloy shavings
      43) "His personal alcohol limits" It is fuel, imho. Special occasion only.
      44) add acid to water, not water to acid (via Turkey Baster). Charge @ room temperature after cleaning casing with baking soda solution & charge on concrete floor if desired. Nitrile gloves, polyethylene apron & safety glasses required. Oh; "CHANGE" battery, not charge battery. How about "add battery"?
      48) CPR to the tune of BeeGees "Stayin' alive". Mouth-to-mouth only allowed on pretty ladies. What? Mouth-to-mouth is obsolete? D'oh!!
      49) Does a yurt count?

      52) How to turn on a computer. (rub it gently & wisper "oh baby, oh baby" over and over again) ;)
      53) How to turn off a computer. ref#12 (Say "I'm fine too!") :o
      54) How to be genuinely polite, courteous & tactful.
      55) How to talk about religeon without offending anyone.
      56) How to drive a vehicle with a Standard Transmission.
      57) How to talk about something that interests his lady ... Ask her!
      58) How to take no for an answer.
      59) How to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, and when to run.
      60) How to handle loneliness on Valentines day for knowing too much of these lists! :lol

      Delete
  2. "Goggle" killed #62 too - http://hackaday.com/2015/02/14/fixing-a-toyota-camry-hybrid-battery-for-under-ten-dollars/
    63) Knows Google's unofficial theme song - "Am i evil?" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Am_I_Evil%3F

    ReplyDelete
  3. Here is a very partial profile of a person that seems to fit the profile of a real humane being.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - (pg#1/2)
    Quote: "Ujjal Dosanjh, Bravest MP in Canada
    He stood against Sikh extremism. He was beaten, threatened with murder. Now a terrorist group founder openly backs his Conservative opponent." [Wai Young]
    By Crawford Kilian, 27 Apr 2011
    Quote: "As a young lawyer, Dosanjh said, he had begun speaking out in late 1984 against the more extreme voices in the Sikh community. In February 1985, he was attacked and beaten with a metal rod, and very nearly killed. It took 80 stitches to close the wounds in his head.

    "But the physical pain wasn't as bad as the emotional pain," Dosanjh said. "I'd been trying to help people, to say 'Cool down.'"

    Still worse was the emotional scarring the attack had inflicted on his children. Dosanjh recalled an incident when one of his sons was being bullied at school, but didn't want to talk to the teacher. "Stand up in class and talk about it," Dosanjh had said.

    "Look where that got you," his son had replied.

    Do the right thing and fear not

    Speaking out may have been a family trait. Dosanjh talked about his grandfathers and other relatives who had struggled for India's independence, sometimes at the cost of their lives or of long prison terms. He mentioned a grandfather who had narrowly escaped arrest, and who had eventually settled in Canada. Dosanjh recalled walking his grandfather home one day and asking him if he'd ever been afraid.

    No, the old man had said, citing an old belief that those protected by God can't be killed. Dosanjh took that to mean that if you are doing the right thing, you need not fear the consequences.

    The extremists have long memories. Dosanjh mentioned an incident last year when some people had said publicly that he would not be welcome or safe at the 2010 Vaisakhi parade. Dosanjh (who hadn't been planning to attend) condemned that attitude; he then saw the appearance of two Facebook pages dedicated to discussing and funding his assassination.

    Last week, the news broke that Wai Young had attended a meeting at Khalsa School, Vancouver which had also been attended by Ripudaman Singh Malik, acquitted in the Air India case but an acknowledged founder of the terrorist Babbar Khalsa movement and a financial supporter of the family of Inderjit Singh Reyat, the only person to be convicted in the case. Malik was now also a supporter of Wai Young's election campaign."
    http://thetyee.ca/News/2011/04/27/UjjalDosanjh/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. (Clarification of First Paragraph: The Conservative opponent." [Wai Young])

      ((Yikes! I read that at least 5 times. Am glad i looked again.))

      Delete
  4. (Note: Timeline rewind ... << )

    Quote: "He was targeted again, on 26 December 1999, while he was a member of the Legislative Assembly of British Columbia, when his constituency office was broken into and a Molotov cocktail left burning on a table."

    ..."In May 2005, opposition MP Gurmant Grewal accused Dosanjh and the Prime Minister's Chief of Staff, Tim Murphy, of attempting to bribe him with an ambassadorship and a senate seat for his wife, Nina Grewal, if he would cross the floor or abstain from a crucial upcoming vote.[46] Grewal released tapes he secretly recorded of the conversation between Dosanjh, Grewal, and Murphy. Dosanjh claimed innocence and accused Grewal of altering the tapes to imply wrongdoing and the Prime Minister dismissed calls to remove Dosanjh from cabinet.[47] Audio analysis concluded that the tapes were altered and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police did not pursue any criminal investigations.[48] Nevertheless, fellow MP John Reynolds filed a complaint with the Law Society of British Columbia accusing Dosanjh of violating the Criminal Code of Canada and the society's Professional Conduct Handbook.[49] The Law Society reviewed the affair and concluded that Grewal had attempted to elicit rewards for his compliance but cleared Dosanjh and Murphy of misconduct charges.[50]"

    ..."Dosanjh suffered a mild heart attack on the morning of February 13, 2007, outside the House of Commons. He was attended by fellow MP Carolyn Bennett, who is also a doctor, and he was rushed to hospital where a successful operation to remove a blood clot near his heart was performed.[55]"

    ..."The next election was called for October 2008. Dosanjh faced sociologist Wai Young running for the Conservatives, health worker Ann Chambers running for the NDP, and an IT consultant, Csaba Gulyas for the Green Party. Dosanjh won by 33 votes over Young, both receiving 38.4% of the vote. A recount confirmed Dosanjh's victory but only by a margin of 22 votes.[56]"

    ..."Dosanjh was defeated in the 2011 federal election which saw the Liberal Party reduced to third place in the House of Commons."
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ujjal_Dosanjh
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - (pg#2/2)

    Dud here: I cannot greet a Sikh by their customary greeting any more, as i find myself ignorant of it's true meanings, so all i can say is Thank you, Mister Dosanjh. I wish i had paid attention back then to what really matters.


    64) A real humane being holds to the courage of their convictions to do that which is rightful and honorable, i respectfully submit.

    ReplyDelete

Insightful and Relevant if Irreverent Comments